When I look at what I am doing today, how could I be sad. How could I be lost, confused, and even wondering why I am doing what I am doing at this very moment. The interesting thing is, I just came to terms with my why. Why do I work so hard at makeup and why am I doing this? Can I have a future in this industry amongst others. Yes! Then it hit me. My why is not to break generational curses, or for my kid, or for wealth only. Those things play a huge part, but the true nature of my why is ME.
I look at so many artists, influencers, and business owners outside of my industry. They all are solving their “why?” so that they can make a difference in their own way. When I started with makeup, I now realize that I wanted something that belonged to me. That wouldn’t fail me. Makeup wouldn’t hurt me or reject me. OH NO! I wanted something that I could say I did, and no one had to make me do it. I wanted something that allowed me to be great at it and have a future within it.
So many times, I’ve seen women who do hair. They say, “I do this but it’s not what I want to do.” Yet, they are so good at it. They don’t have to clock into a 9-5. The gift simply flows from their hands to others, and that is enough to carry them on to vacations, homes, and wealth. Every time I heard that come from someone’s mouth and they were booming, my question was “Why?” You have the freedom to be you all the time. Sure, it is hard work and you must have a plan to be able to retire out gracefully. Maybe this is a seasonal thing and maybe it is a lifetime thing, but it’s your thing! Just look at the success. And people want MORE! Girl you should be glad and not sad.
I didn’t want that feeling. I wanted something that I loved doing. I wanted something that allowed people to see me. I felt that unless I opened my mouth in comedy, I was invisible, pitiful, and lost. So, I woke up one day and I did NOT say “I want to do makeup”, I said I want something that makes me feel that I can accomplish anything. That I can crush my goals, that inspires me out of the place I’m in. I needed something that would help me open and see that great things are meant for me too.
I realized that I have always been cosmetically proficient. However, I lacked confidence, support, and patience to see things through educationally. Grades weren’t the issue. I always felt as if I didn’t have enough time. That no one wanted what I was offering. And, that I couldn’t be successful. Chile, grow up the way I did, and you would feel those things too. But this time I had to go for myself on this. I said to myself if no one will support me I will. Once I got God’s stamp of approval there was no stopping me. I’ve had some hard days but there is no quit in me.
Through makeup I have learned to apply layers to the face that make me more beautiful. Yet, I’ve also had to begin to peel layers of my hurts, my regrets, being hard on myself to a place of condemnation. Realizing that my ability isn’t enough, that I must grow stronger mentally, emotionally, and most of all spiritually. I must be transparent and allow people in. I must allow in people who will help me, and people whom I will help. That’s why I’m writing this. I want to help you see that for me it is makeup but for you it can be anything. It is more than a money maker, it is your smelting pot. Your goals help you melt away the impurities to leave the pure untainted product behind for greatest value.
Becoming a makeup artist helped save my life. It has given me a space and place to be my best self. To show up for more than everyone else, but to show up for me. I am worth it and worthy of living for me. Leaving a legacy and all those things are important. It is also important that you be happy with you. This is but one thing that makes me happy with me, for me. What is it that does that for you? Have you truly found your why? Leave a comment! Until next time- MWAH!